Why I Blog

This is maddening. I am awake at 2 in the morning (though I will likely publish this later). I took a little evening nap, which was my demise. I hope my baby sleeps long tomorrow morning so I can catch up a bit. I finally broke down and took a Benedryl to see if that will help. So while that kicks in, I will try to put down why I blog, as it was one of the things I was thinking about as I was trying to sleep.

I am an external processor. I always have been. I either talk to someone, write to someone, or journal. When I got married, my journaling rituals sort of changed and I got out of the habit of journaling, but my processing found other outlets. I enjoy the blog because it is a way to get out all that is in my head, down to the nonsense. It is also a way of defining myself and my world. In the past I have sort of tried to spiritualize my journals, but I find that they only sound fake or contrived. I discovered, though, that I find God in the everyday. I have learned that God rejoices in the fact that I like kitchen gadgets and clothes and funny stories and mentoring and music. I think that, if not taken to the point of sin (say, gluttony, covetousness, gossip and self-importance, some of my many), that I can worship God by enjoying these things. Afterall, he made me to love these things! He has always known these things about me.

So the journaling is a little bit processing, a little bit pondering, a little bit preservation and self-anthropology, and sort of all worship.