Not for men (except Steve, Dad, maybe Bud)

I just realized Lucy has been weaned "for reals" for over a week now, and because of all the Busy, I'm not sure I really had the opportunity to process it. I was caught off guard at how sad I am about it. I mean, I'm the one who wanted to wean this long-overdue 14-month old! Long enough! Time for some freedom! But when I realized that Thursday night's feeding in the nursery at church between choir rehearsals was the last time I will ever nurse that little girl, it made me catch my breath. End of Baby, full-force Beginning of Toddler. Beginning of Growing Up. Wonderful, wonderful paradox. I suppose the beginning of that really was the day she left my body to live and breathe on her own. And I think of my own, dear, dear Mom and how much I still need her. I know Lucy will always need me in some way, and the two of us will always do the little dance to find that balance. I figure I will practice now the letting go that happens a little bit at a time. And what a wonderful thing! I really do celebrate this big step for my big girl! But for now it's okay to grieve the end of the thing I never knew would be so special.